According to Dr. Gary Chapman, Author of the 5 Love Languages of Children, there are 5 ways that each of us can experience love. The 5 love languages are: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch. Each of your children may have a different primary love language, and each child may be a mix of all five. If you are unsure which love language is primary for your child, you can take a love language assessment.
Here are some ways to “say” I love you, broken down by love language:
Words of Affirmation
1. “You got an “A” on your math test!”
2. “Your studying really paid off”
3. “That shirt looks nice on you.”
4. “Thank you for washing your hands.”
5. “You picked up all of the books!”
6. “You piano piece is sounding better every day.”
7. “That was a really funny joke!”
8. “Look, you made the baby smile!”
9. “Your room looks great.”
10. “I noticed you took out the trash, thanks.”
11. “Thank you for including Sophie in your game.”
12. “You were a big help this afternoon!”
13. “That took a lot of courage.”
14. “Finishing that puzzle took patience.”
15. “You are painting the square pink.”
16. “Thank you for hanging up your coat.”
17. “It looks like you really took your time on this.”
18. “That shows responsibility”
19. Leave a note under their bedroom door
20. Put notes in their lunch box or backpack
Quality Time
1. Bike ride
2. Walk
3. Make a fort out of blankets
4. Read together
5. Bake cookies
6. Have a picnic
7. Take a class together
8. Do an art project
9. Play a board game
10. Get ice cream
11. Interview each other
12. Cook dinner
13. Do each others hair or nails
14. Have a tea party
15. Build with legos
16. Dance
17. Go fishing
18. Tell silly jokes
19. Request that your child tag-along on errands
20. Schedule one-on-one time each day
Receiving Gifts
1. Small piece of candy
2. Stickers
3. A card
4. Hair bows
5. Surprise snack in their lunch
6. Something that was yours, when you were a kid (baseball mitt, barbie, etc.)
7. Something that is yours now (purse, keychain, etc.)
8. Picture of the two of you together
9. Fancy pen
10. Paper airplane with a note
11. Shiny stone
12. Their favorite cereal
13. Something small with their initial
14. Bookmark
15. A flower from the garden
16. Necklace
17. Shoelaces
18. Origami swan
19. Decorated “welcome home” sign
20. Anything in fancy gift wrapping
Acts of Service
1. Make their bed (*If this is a daily chore, surprise them by doing it for them once in a while)
2. Unload the dishwasher*
3. Walk the dog*
4. Put laundry away*
5. Clean their room*
6. Empty the trash*
7. Clear the table*
8. Make a special snack
9. Serve breakfast in bed
10. Help with a project
11. Fix or repair broken toys
12. Ask, “do you need help?”
13. Assist with a big job
14. Offer to help with studying
15. Help tie shoes or zip coat
16. Push on a swing
17. Allow this child to help with projects or repairs
18. Occasionally give extra time before bed
19. Offer additional support during times of stress
20. Do Random Acts of Kindness together
Physical Touch
1. Hug
2. Wrestle
3. Dance
4. Pat on the back
5. Hold hands
6. Eskimo kiss
7. Snuggle
8. Tossle their hair
9. Paint nails
10. Back rub
11. Foot massage
12. Brush their hair
13. Pick them up when talking to each other
14. Carry them
15. Gently touch when walking by
16. Put your hands on their shoulders when talking to each other
17. Lay or sit together while reading
18. “Write” letters or shapes on their back and have them guess
19. Let them sit on your lap
20. Provide extra snuggling when they are sad, hurt or worried
101…Look them in the eye, smile, and say, “I love you!”
Theo Imperfect families
